I think Your Snoring's Sexy...(Said No One Ever!)

 

"Don't take it personally, Babe, but you snore like a freight train!" My husband looked at me with a little guilt and a feeble attempt to hide his smile.
 "What? You are kidding me! .....I absolutely do NOT snore!"
 His smirk turned into a laugh, "Yeah, you really really do! ...So much so, that I wear ear plugs. And you know my hearing isn't all that great anyway.'
He reached over to give me a hug, like he thought it was kinda cute. I was not amused. In fact, I was mortified. How can someone like me, who is so careful to not wake him up when I get into bed, who tiptoes to the restroom at night so I don't disturb anyone....sound like a freight train? And how can a freight train not wake up the person making all the noise?? Maybe HE'S the one snoring and he just doesn't realize it.
Images of my mom and dad snoring at night and all of the adult children and grandchildren cracking up laughing at the noise flashed before my eyes. I have become my mother!

Holy Cow! This is not going to happen! Surely there is something I can do. Something I can take? But who in the world gives professional advice about snoring?
I immediately grabbed my laptop and began searching for information. At least online, I am anonymous and don't have to technically admit my hidden shame.

Interesting....Have you ever googled "snoring"? Unbelievable amount of hits...and a multitude of guaranteed remedies  There are all kinds of headgear I could wear, pills I could take, a mouthguard, and the list goes on. None of them sounded like something I wanted to incorporate into my life. So...I already had a doctor's appointment scheduled for a checkup, I just thought I would add the snoring question to my list of doctor patient discussions.
Until then, every evening I would become very anxious right before bedtime. A little performance anxiety began to creep into my psyche. What can I do differently to keep from doing this embarrassingly loud snoring thing? I already slept on my side, I try and read til Steve goes to sleep so I wont' wake him when I go to bed. What else could I do?  Now, I was having trouble going to sleep because I didn't want to snore, but I was also curious to hear what I sounded like. It couldn't possibly be as loud as Darlin said. So, I'm in the bed...trying to be as still as I could be to hear my raucous

snoring.....Nothing. I turned on the other side....got comfortable, began to relax and finally drifted off to sleep. Within 30 minutes, Darlin was nudging me and saying,"Babe, you're snoring! Please turn over." I sat up. I looked around.....apologized to Darlin for waking him, and tried going back to sleep. I truly never heard a thing!!
The next day I went to the doctor and I was going through my list of concerns when I finally blurted out the last one on the list. She smiled and said that is a very common complaint. You can be snoring for many reasons....One of which is sinus related. (That made sense to me because I had a sinus infection) another reason is obesity or being overweight, even 15-20 lbs can cause snoring. (Well, dang it, I'm working as hard as I can to lose weight...what more can I possibly do!) and then there are other more complex issues that cause snoring. Not the greatest news I wanted to hear, but at least it gave me something to work on.....losing weight, and clearing up my sinus infection.
Neither of which would be an overnight fix. And just in case, I'm buying some of those nasal strips at the store.

Big Night for me.....I took my sinus medicine early, and opened the individual package for one of the strips. First of all they are packaged like bandaids and you have to remove the paper from the adhesive. The adhesive is very strong and does not want to let go, even when it is supposed to! Maybe it was because I was trying to be super cool about having it on before Darlin came to bed so it wouldn't be obvious, but I would unstick from one hand and it would become attached to the other hand.....not a calming exercise! Finally I get it attached to my nose but it kept popping off because I had forgotten and put night cream on my face before. Anyway, I held it on with my hand til I fell asleep. In the morning, I found it on the floor by the bed. Im sure it was most helpful!
I asked Darlin if he slept alright and while he was saying he slept fine, he avoided my eyes. I asked if he thought the strips worked, he replied You might want to try 2 at a time.

 So, the snoring dilemma continues. I keep trying different products, while Darlin keeps wearing his earplugs and kissing me goodnight. Guess it could be always be worse....

And since He DID marry me for better or worse....that includes snoring!!